The legend of the appendix

Thought the appendix was a useless organ? It is now, but it didn't used to be. This is the third and best legend of mine.

A long, long time ago the realm of people was seized with an epidemic of a certain nasty stomach bug. The bug was sooo painful that it felt like a fork was twisting out your insides. The humans, not being very bright, thought this was exactly so, and they feared they would lose all their insides and die. People ran to the village surgeons and begged them for more insides. So the village surgeons would simply pop them in without poking around. However, the more unnecessary insides the humans got, the greater their pain. They would try getting more and more insides, until they were all seized with such pain (and with such large stomachs) that they could barely move. The stomach bug had passed, but that was not the issue anymore.

The Godly Powers looked down on earth and saw the terrible tragedy, and decided they had to do something. They took their dear human guinea pig and thought they might actually try twisting out his insides with a fork. Sadly, they failed, and dear guinea pig died. So then they decided they must be more subtle and stealthy, and devised a new organ for all humans.

Whenever a human came to the surgeon for more insides, the Godly Powers would slip in an appendix. The appendix was an assassin for all the extra insides. Once inside the body, it would proceed to destroy the extra insides, leaving people happy and content. The appendix also contaminated a person's genes, so that appendixes would be hereditary. Soon, everyone had the silent killer in their guts.

The sad thing is, in our modern day, we do no simply put extra insides inside ourselves, so appendixes get really bored. They are fragile and sensitive beings. Most appendixes can live with the boredom, but many commit suicide, rupturing themselves while trying to destroy the bodies that imprison them. None have succeeded yet. Thank Godly Powers.