:(

So my friends Neysa and Madeline are mad at me. Neysa especially, I think. Well, actually, I'm not sure how mad they are now, but the situation is definitely not resolved. On my proboards they flood like three pages a night with off topic private conversations on these two threads. Finally fed up with the struggle to stay on topic, I locked the threads, and on another one I threatened to delete any post that was not a suggestion.

They got really mad when they came online and were arguing with me. I felt weird and scared arguing with them online about this, and they seemed to think I didn't want them to talk to each other. So we talked about it for a while, and then they used their admin powers to unlock the threads. But they started talking about other things, and Neysa had to go, but I don't know what to do. I don't want everyone else on the site to have to sift through pages of stuff to find things, but I don't want to hurt their feelings either.

It was weird, during the phone conversation, there were times when they were doing exactly what they were doing on the proboards, just talking between themselves and not to others. There were times when I didn't talk for a long time, and it was like they didn't even notice. Like they just went off into their own world. They didn't know each other before the proboards at all, and they really clicked. At some points in the conversation I felt awkward and uncomfortable, like I was listening in to someone else's conversation. And that's the kind of feeling they created on those threads.

But I'm sick of arguing...

Dream

So, I had this weird yet cool dream. It was sort of freaky, actually. Anyways, I decided I should make it a story. Here's the basic plot of the story so far.

So there is this team of three serial killers on the loose. They are super strong and super fast, and they kill tons of people. They go into public areas and just start shooting. When the cops catch up to them they kill the cops. Everybody is really freaked out. Their next place is this mall.

Before the shooting starts, this girl at the mall buys a good luck charm from an old woman with a kiosk. The woman hands her three bills as change. Yet when the girl looks at them closer, they are all for $1000 and have pictures of the killers instead of presidents. The girl turns to the old woman, but she and her kiosk are gone. That's when the killers begin. There are three of them: one who's sort of like Hulk Hogan, a big macho muscly guy, one who is smaller and nimbler, who wears one of those old canvas gasmasks, and one who's a bit pudgy and sallow. The guy with the gasmask is killing near the girl, so she hides and follows him, curious about the bills she has. She follows him down into the sewers beneath the mall, where the guy starts to hang himself. Then he sees the girl, and she starts running. He chases her aboveground, and they're running on the road. The guy runs in front of this big truck, and the truck swerved and falls on its side, so it slides down the road after them. The girl trips and falls, and the guy catches up to her. She asks him why he kills and he shrugs. Then she asks him if he is going to kill her and he says no, then grabs her and slides down this really steep slope on the side of the road, just before the sliding truck hits them.

The guy brings the girl to the other killers, and they explain to her that they have superhuman abilities and they kill so much because they sold their souls to the devil. They hate killing, and want to buy back their souls, but the devil only accepts a certain kind of money, the bills the old woman gave the girl. The girl tries to give them the money, but it won't leave her hands. So she decides to help them by buying their souls herself. So then they go to find the devil. And that's what I have so far. I think it would make a great action movie, actually.

The story will have themes about murder, guilt and remorse, along with pure evil and greed, and impulsiveness. A nice twisted story. I'll start writing it later.

This is my first legend. *sniff,sob* It brings back such fond memories... Anyways, on with the story.

A long, long time ago, humans stumbled about the earth, shivering with cold. No, it was not because they did not have fire. That is a boring legend. No, humans had no hair. None at all. They were as naked and bare as a naked person who just shaved off all of their hair. And those poor dears were freezing. And because they were freezing, they couldn't evolve or anything like they were supposed to.

Now, the Godly Powers that watched over the world with great compassion hated to see their mortal pets in pain or not evolving. They decided they must solve the problem. Now, the Godly Powers were very direct immortal and all powerful beings. They took a good mortal friend of theirs and made him their guinea pig. Then, to keep him warm, they took a possum and duct taped it to his head.

Their dear guinea pig was very proud and vain, and he showed off this genius creation to all those around him. Soon everyone was catching animals and duct taping them to their heads. The problem was... those animals were still alive, and the people were too caught up in the fad to notice. They didn't feed the poor things and many, many animals died. The remaining animals, deep in hiding, appealed to the Godly Powers to help them. So the Godly Powers told them what to do the next time one of them was caught. The next one to be caught happened to be a porcupine.

A woman, looking for a new hat, pounced on him, but he wriggled out of her grasp and launched himself at her head, using his sharp claws to burrow under her scalp. Humans had very... stretchy scalps back then. The woman immediately fainted and it took her many, many days to awake. Once she had awoken, she found the porcupine still lived under her scalp, feeding on her brain juice. What's more, to her astonishment, she discovered that the porcupine's many quills had pierced her scalp, giving her the first "hair". As time went on, the porcupine eventually died, and it's body decayed inside her, until it left nothing to her except its quills and stray hairs that had scattered over her body. She was the first human to have true hair.

When the porcupine was under her scalp, feeding on her brain juice, it was also secreting saliva, which altered the woman's genetic code. Her children had hair, thei children had hair, and so on and so on until all humans had fur.


Yay!

Supposed to be babysitting?

I think I'm supposed to be babysitting right now. I had homework to do though, so whatever. The little girl's dad is putting in new light fixtures at our house, and I'm supposed to be keeping her occupied. She's a bit annoying, though. Aren't all 8 year olds, though? She's watching the Disney channel... :(

The legend of the appendix

Thought the appendix was a useless organ? It is now, but it didn't used to be. This is the third and best legend of mine.

A long, long time ago the realm of people was seized with an epidemic of a certain nasty stomach bug. The bug was sooo painful that it felt like a fork was twisting out your insides. The humans, not being very bright, thought this was exactly so, and they feared they would lose all their insides and die. People ran to the village surgeons and begged them for more insides. So the village surgeons would simply pop them in without poking around. However, the more unnecessary insides the humans got, the greater their pain. They would try getting more and more insides, until they were all seized with such pain (and with such large stomachs) that they could barely move. The stomach bug had passed, but that was not the issue anymore.

The Godly Powers looked down on earth and saw the terrible tragedy, and decided they had to do something. They took their dear human guinea pig and thought they might actually try twisting out his insides with a fork. Sadly, they failed, and dear guinea pig died. So then they decided they must be more subtle and stealthy, and devised a new organ for all humans.

Whenever a human came to the surgeon for more insides, the Godly Powers would slip in an appendix. The appendix was an assassin for all the extra insides. Once inside the body, it would proceed to destroy the extra insides, leaving people happy and content. The appendix also contaminated a person's genes, so that appendixes would be hereditary. Soon, everyone had the silent killer in their guts.

The sad thing is, in our modern day, we do no simply put extra insides inside ourselves, so appendixes get really bored. They are fragile and sensitive beings. Most appendixes can live with the boredom, but many commit suicide, rupturing themselves while trying to destroy the bodies that imprison them. None have succeeded yet. Thank Godly Powers.

Random story thing I made up just now.

Milo nervously stepped into my kitchen, leather brown shoes squeaking on the tile floor. I looked up appreciatively. He was my best customer for tea and gossip. As soon as you got him talking, anyway. I pulled out a chair for him and poured him a cup of tea. He sat down carefully, sweeping the tails of his coat to the side so he didn't sit on them. I smiled at him and leaned my elbow on the rickety old table, cupping my face into my hand.

"Aaaah... Milo... How are you? No no. Don't say anything just yet. Save your voice, because I am going to grill you like a hamburger." I said, slightly flirtatiously. Although I'm not sure how romantic hamburgers are, Milo blushed anyway and took a shaky sip of tea. I patted him on the arm while simultaneously popping a few sugar cubes into his bitter tea. The poor boy was much too thin. He needed to put some meat on those bones and develop some muscle before he could be noticed.

But the point of Milo's existence was not to be noticed. His pale complexion, stick thinness, and silent behavior made him the perfect spy. And I have to know everything that's going on. He opened his mouth hesitantly and I nodded to him. He jumped, and his teacup began to teeter on the edge of the table. Quick as w whip, I grabbed it and set it on a coaster.

"Watch it, Milo. Last time you spilled on my nice new carpet I scrubbed for weeks." I said severely. My nice, new, clean, white carpet could never have any stains on it. He blushed deeper, and his chin began to quiver. I waved a hand at him dismissively. "Never mind, dear, never mind. Now, tell me, has Mr. Anderson's wife found out about his affair yet?"

He brightened, then shook his head. "Nope. Although she's suspicious. She listens to all his phone calls, but he just calls his lover at night when she's asleep. And since he works for the government, she can't just storm his office and find the intern on his desk like usual." The words tumbled out of his mouth, sweet and raspy like... cinnamon. It was lovely to listen to him talk. I nodded at him to keep going. He began to run down the list of daily gossip while shaking his long stringy hair out of his eyes. I closed my eyes and let his cinnamon words drip into my ears.

"Ms. Callahan was just proposed to by her longtime boyfriend, she said yes, but they have money problems, so there's no set wedding date, but they want it to be soon. Ria finally came out that she hates kids and would like to kill them all someday. The Harlans fired her as a babysitter. Miss Poochie has lost her dog, she's been out all day calling for him, she told her husband that if he doesn't find it, she's getting a divorce. He told her to go ahead. Their garbage can smells like a dead thing. Mr. Wiler filed for bankruptcy, but all his accountants know it's just another ploy to evade his taxes, which he's rich enought ot pay, anyways." He rattled off quickly, all in the same breath. He took a deep breath and a long drink of tea before continuing with the rest of the gossip, slightly more subdued after the first two or three waves. We had a system. He started with the most juicy and recent gossip, then ordered the telling by most recent to least, and then reported on several revealing stories that had been going on over the past few months. He was quite a nice guy, I thought.

When he finally left, I got up and cleaned up the tea things quickly. I looked at my reflection in the mirrored tiles in the backwash of the sink. The tiles showed a broken image of squares, but I could still make out my long blonde hair, with much too long bangs that needed a trim, my sharp nose, large blue eyes, and small and pouty lips. I turned away from my haphazard reflection and looked out the window at Milo's skinny figure just before the horizon. Milo thought he came to me just for gossip, but he came to me for another reason. I loved him.